Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Time to give it up Weiner man! Better things than you have had to cut their losses.

Rep. Weiner, you cannot survive this, no matter how much you fool yourself (like, I'm sure he'll read this). You are like the tree hugger above, hanging on to a lost cause, only you've got your weener hanging out and it's got about 15 names on it (how do you spell weener anyway?). Like the last tree in this forest, you may have many noble causes that you want to hang on to your office to fight for. But like the noble tree hugger, no one is listening to your causes anymore.

I am definitely not going to chastise anything that you have done. Far be it from me to point out any one's iniquities. But I find it incredibly difficult to understand that you still want to hang on to a public service job when it is blatantly obvious that no one trusts you now.  You're definitely not in the political minority in having indiscretions with other women whilst being married, but you were caught lying about them. Plus several people had to look at your private parts. You've lost the one card any politician has up their sleeve; a facade of trust. Yet you still connive and plan on how you could possibly make a dramatic comeback to win everybody back:

Trees  have to cut their losses too, which is sad. But we do need them for paper and so some people in less developed countries can build their homes and cook their food with them. See, I really can tie everything to a forest. But the only sustenance you are providing for anyone now, Rep. Weiner, is juicy, abundant fodder for the media. They definitely love and care about you! I'm guessing that if I could peer into your mind right now (while you're in "counseling") you would probably have an image like this in your mind:

But you should. Americans have enough woe to deal with considering our economy can't even pay for basic education needs now, and we're dealing with the fact that the American dream is soon going to be some other countries' dream. The last thing we need is another caught red-handed politician in the ranks. You are the dead tree right now, thrusted out in the midst of a garden of desperate hope.

And you still hang in there.......

...even though your own parties' President of the United States thinks you should shut it down:

Probably the best thing you can do right now is cut your losses and reinvent yourself in a way people can actually believe in. Perhaps a career change is in order for you, because it is definitely time to:

I know it must be so difficult for you to step down because of all the hard work you have put in to get you this far. Sometimes when we mess up, it is an unconscious way of fate showing us another door that we may be more successful upon entering.  But now, if you continue on the path you are on, you are:

Lastly, even though I don't know you, and I'm not even from your state, I do wish you the brightest of blessings (for all that's worth). You do seem like you have a lot of talent and ambition. Hopefully, wherever you are seeking refuge has a forest nearby that you can think over your life in. That's my best advice for the indecisive. However, something tells me that you're not really the 'reflect in nature' type, so maybe you'd prefer your forest therapy from watching something a little more suitable to your tastes:

And hey, it's the director's cut!

P.S. I'm sure as soon as I post this, there will be an announcement that he stepped down. Such is fate.

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